An Abusive Relationship

(Part 4 of "They're Looking In the Wrong Place")

Let's step away from politics for a brief moment and talk about mental illness. As someone with a well-documented history of psychological assessment, whenever I am asked why I'm running for office through an alternate party, the question I most commonly hear (or at least interpret from the question) is "are you crazy?" Well, I'm here to tell you that yes, it's very likely that I am. Let me explain.  

The link between psychology and politics is well documented, so much so that those of us who are politicians (or political junkies) are arguably a little nuts. We tend to look at issues and crises as obstacles, or puzzles to solve and don't often understand why others don't see the things that we think are oh, so obvious. 

Now I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I would wager good money to suggest that you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, whether they think they are in one or not. So, let's take a look at seven of the most commonly recognized aspects of abusive relationships.

1. They try to control who you see and get angry if you don't do what they say.
2. They accuse you of being unfaithful (whether you were or not).
3. They isolate you from family and friends, often by behaving rudely.
4. They put you down by attacking your intelligence, appearance, mental health, or capabilities.
5. They blame you for all the problems in your relationship, including their outbursts.
6. They threaten to use violence against you, your family, or your friends.
7. They always promise that they will change, and that they will do better in the future, but they repeatedly demonstrate that they have no authentic desire to change or to do better in the future.

Do any of these sound familiar? If you knew someone who was experiencing any of these, what do you think you would tell them to do about it? Would you tell them to leave their abusive partner, or would you do nothing?

Now, what if I told you that you ABOLUTELY know someone in an abusive relationship, and that your abusive partner is ... the Old Parties and the two-party political system? 

Don't believe me? I'm not surprised. Most people who are victims of abuse usually don't realize it until much later. So, let's go back over those commonly recognized aspects about abusive relationships.

1. The Old Parties often block alternate party and independent candidates from ballot access by making rules that only apply to candidates who are not members of their parties. For instance, here in Texas, one way that this shows up is the requirement that we pay a significant filing fee, which only applies to candidates or groups who "do not nominate their candidates using a primary election system" (which only the Old Parties use). They also control the requirements for entering into official debates and have even changed those requirements to prevent independent and alternate party candidates from qualifying for those debates when they have successfully met the original requirements.
2. Old Party adherents will tell you that alternate party or independent candidates are not worth your vote, that your vote is "wasted" if you choose to cast your vote for anyone other than an Old Party candidate, and that it's the fault of the independent or alternate party candidate that the mirror Old Party candidate won (or lost).
3. The Old Parties divide us as a nation by using fabricated, sometimes even verifiably false information and propaganda to cause us to fight amongst ourselves. They will even slander or otherwise belittle their opponent (and those who support their opponent) on all sides just to prevent you from considering any other option or candidate.
4. Many Old Party candidates have publicly made inappropriate jokes about people based on their appearance, supposed mental health, or any other personal aspect to which they can point (i.e., using bully tactics). Then they tell you (the voter) that they are the only political parties that matter, and that you are "dumb, stupid, or irresponsible" for even deigning to look at any party or candidate outside of the Old Parties.
5. Each of the Old Parties blames members of their mirror party for voting "the wrong way" on issues, and simultaneously tries to shame those who vote for independent or alternate party candidates by suggesting that they are the reasons that things didn't change - as if they are blameless on that issue in any way.
6. The Old Parties have instituted laws designed to punish people for crimes in which there is no victim (that is, where the only person who could be harmed would be yourself, and sometimes not even then), and then threatens to take away your personal liberties if you break these laws. They have also developed and promoted police militarization and have used them on innocent people (and we know it's them because no one else has the ability to do that).
7. How often have you heard Old Party candidates promise "change" during their campaigns, but the change that they deliver (if they deliver anything at all) typically involves making *more* rules that slowly erode your personal liberties while at the same time trying to convince all of us that these new rules are "a good thing". They choose small battles that they know they can win and, over time, make it almost impossible for anyone to break free.

Do any of these sound familiar? If you knew someone who was experiencing any of these, what do you think you would tell them to do about it? Would you tell them to leave their abusive partner, or would you do nothing?

Think about it, then choose for yourself. No one should ever claim to have the ability to make your choices for you because no one can live your life better than you can.

(Note: I wish I could say that I created this list, but I cannot. I saw this listing (organized differently) from a mental health care worker who actually made the comparison.)