Vice and Morality Laws

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In the grand theater of American life, where liberty and pursuit of happiness often bump into each other like two drunks at a wedding, the laws around vice and morality provide a comedy of errors worthy of Shakespeare himself. Vice and morality laws (I call them "prohibition laws") are those laws specifically designed to criminalize (or legalize) specific actions. They're intended to govern behaviors related to morality, ethics, and social norms. These laws often address activities that are considered harmful, immoral, or socially unacceptable.

For reference, let's look at the Prohibition Era of the 1920s, which aimed to rid the nation of alcohol-induced debauchery. It was like deciding to solve your caffeine addiction by banning coffee—sure, you'll stop drinking coffee, but you'll probably just end up in an underground speakeasy where people are brewing something even stronger in their basements. The result? A booming black market for bathtub gin and an unfortunate surge in organized crime, which was, ironically, fueled by the very laws designed to curb excess.

Let's take a look at how each political party views vice and morality laws:

Republicans on Vice and Morality Laws

"'Love thy neighbor' does not mean in the physical sense."

Republican views generally tend to be more conservative and inclined towards supporting stricter laws and regulations surrounding activities that are deemed morally questionable or harmful to individuals and society. This includes laws related to alcohol, drugs, gambling, and sometimes even certain forms of entertainment. Republican views are sometimes influenced by religious beliefs, particularly among socially conservative factions of the party that prioritize Judeo-Christian values. This can translate into support for laws that uphold conservative views on issues like abortion, marriage, and sexual morality. Additionally, there is often an emphasis on personal responsibility and accountability. Republicans may argue that strict vice and morality laws are necessary to protect individuals from making harmful choices and to uphold societal standards.

"And all the shouting voices try to throw me off my course, some by sermon, some by force."

Ever hear of a "blue law"? These are laws that are still hanging around like a forgotten sweater in the back of your closet and were meant to enforce a strict Christian moral code. For example, they banned shopping, working, and pretty much anything else on Sundays. Because nothing says “moral high ground” quite like a state where your grocery store is closed on Sundays, but the state fair is open 24/7 for corn dogs and tractor pulls.

Sexual morality laws are equally entertaining. There are no laws prohibiting sex acts between consenting adults … unless there is an exchange of money. In some states, a law still exists that makes it illegal to engage in certain types of intimate activities unless you’re married. It’s as if lawmakers are convinced that penning down specific acts will somehow magically increase the number of people attending church services and decrease the number of people binge-watching reality TV in their pajamas.

"Fools and thieves are dangerous in the temple and marketplace."

Democrats on Vice and Morality Laws

"The government can legislate morality about as well as it legislates prosperity."

Democratic policies often reflect a balance between personal freedoms and public health or safety concerns, aiming to protect individual rights while promoting societal well-being. Democratic views on vice and morality laws often reflect a more liberal stance on personal freedoms and the role of government in regulating private behavior. There is usually a strong emphasis on protecting civil liberties, including the right to privacy and freedom of expression. Democrats may oppose laws that infringe upon these rights, especially those perceived as promoting moral or religious values over personal choice.

"And all the preaching voices, empty vessels, ring so loud as they move among the crowd."

Democrats generally support the separation of church and state, thus advocating for laws and policies that are not influenced by religious doctrine. This stance often leads to opposition to laws based primarily on religious morality, such as restrictions on abortion and LGBT rights. Democrats may view vice and morality laws through a lens of social justice, considering how these laws impact marginalized communities disproportionately.

"Fools and thieves are well disguised in the temple and marketplace."

Gambling laws are a personal favorite. Once upon a time, gambling was as taboo as performing an exorcism in a library. Now, half the states have lotteries, and the other half are still trying to figure out if it’s okay to bet on which state will legalize sports betting first. Betting on a March Madness bracket or a Super Bowl pool at work may technically be against the law, but I seriously doubt that the local constabulary are going to show up at your office and start carting you and your co-workers down to the hoosegow because of it. In the meantime, Nevada is living the dream, while other states continue to view gambling as an immoral pastime akin to wearing socks with sandals.

And the arcane world of censorship takes its place on this stage as well. The U.S. has a history of banning everything from "obscene" literature to movies that contain, heaven forbid, more than one kiss. You can’t watch a movie that makes a suggestive joke, but hey, enjoy the thirty-minute ad for an erectile dysfunction pill—just don’t think about what that pill implies.

Libertarians on Vice and Morality Laws

"Legalize Fun: Because Life’s Too Short for Morality Police!"

Libertarians believe that vice and morality laws are crafted pieces of legislation specifically designed to accomplish one singular result: turn ordinary citizens into criminals. We refer to people who have run afoul of these laws as having committed a "victimless crime", or a crime in which no one other than the individual (and sometimes not even them) was harmed, threatened, or even inconvenienced (i.e., there was no "victim" of the crime).

Libertarians prioritize individual freedom and autonomy, arguing that adults should be free to make their own choices regarding personal behavior, as long as those choices do not directly harm others or infringe upon their rights. We advocate for reducing or eliminating government involvement in regulating personal vices such as drug use, gambling, prostitution, and other consensual activities between adults believing that government should not dictate moral standards or enforce personal lifestyle choices.

Libertarians generally support the decriminalization or legalization of vice-related activities, viewing prohibitive laws as unnecessary and infringing upon individual liberty. This includes advocating for the legalization of drugs, gambling, and adult entertainment. We also strongly defend privacy rights, arguing against government surveillance and intrusion into private matters, including personal lifestyle choices that do not harm others.

Let’s not forget about the ever persistent (and inconsistent) battle over marijuana legalization. Any law criminalizing cannabis possession (not using it, simply having it) are just as ridiculous as would be any law criminalizing the possession of potpourri or mulch. And while states like Colorado are enjoying a green gold rush, states like Texas are still clinging to their strict laws as if a single puff of the herb will somehow unravel the very fabric of society. It’s like refusing to allow online dating because it might make people forget how to write letters by hand.

Then, there's the modern morality debate over technology and privacy. As we dance through the digital age, many Old Party adherents are haunted by the question of whether our online behavior is moral or whether our next big tech breakthrough will be used to invade our personal space. Imagine the future where our government is not only policing our vices but also monitoring our smart fridges to ensure we’re not binge-eating ice cream at 2 a.m. And who’s to say that future isn’t just around the corner?

As Texans, I believe that we should be setting an example for the rest of the country to follow. As long as they don't harm anyone else, we should allow anyone and everyone the ability to pursue life, liberty and happiness as they see fit without interference from the government. We should state unequivocally that such authoritarianism has no place in Texas.

The U.S. has a rich history of enacting laws to try to regulate morality and vice, often with results that are as unpredictable as a reality TV plot twist. So as you navigate the complex world of American vice laws, remember, just as it was in the 1920s Prohibition Era, the true moral of the story is that no matter how many laws you create, human nature will always find a way to throw a party.

Some of my opinions regarding vice and morality (i.e. prohibition) laws:

Prohibition Laws Never Work [Article Link]
Repeal Criminal Possession Laws [Article Link]
Decriminalizing Cannabis (and Other Drugs) [Article Link]